Hi welcome to my garage Some laundry Some water heaters and a car and also a man [unintelligible] where’d I put the tape? That man is William Osman fellow YouTube inventor and a proud bearer of weird hats I recently invited him to my house to do a live stream and eat fermented herring Whoa it smells like straight up like a portapotty It’s how I decide if someone’s worth befriending or not I’d eat more Totally worth befriending But it wasn’t the only reason he came to San Francisco We’re gonna turn Simone’s car No do I say it – YES – into a computer mouse So William made a device that he’s putting on the front bumper of my car And it turns it into a giant computer mouse and to click you just honk the horn [multiple horn sounds] By driving around I’m gonna use her as the computer mouse and then you’re honking it like Thank you Yes, we made it and… No, it’s mine. I take full credit for this Yeah, sure. She’s called Cheese Louise Yeah Sorry we’re filming a video, it’s almost like you’re a hired actor. Okay, cool. Let’s uh, let’s pack up and get into it I just wonder what he thought that we were doing Hover over save and just press the horn – [quiet horn sound] – yes [Simone continues “yes” into a squeal] Cheese Louise you’re getting an upgrade I haven’t driven in a little while, geez her are brakes are so bad, I mean we need to fix them I’m gonna die Simone No you’ll be fine So we’re heading to a parking lot and we’re gonna try and play some stuff on my computer Cheese Louise is gonna drive a self-portrait – drive a self- draw- draw- draw even So, William – oh, sorry – William is sitting with my computer I just have Photoshop open and we’re gonna try try it and draw something – What color did you pick – yellow! Obviously it’s the only color to do Well this is like very official mic setup right here How do you think this is gonna go? –
Poorly- well very well. Yeah, no no doubts No doubt, bye! Okay, I’m just gonna get her into a good – you want to start like a triangle like that. How are you? – Yeah? I just want to get into a good starting position We’ll figure it out, we’re just gonna [horn sounds] Honk Uh oh, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh that’s a straight line. That’s a beautiful straight- wait I lost it Oh I’m about to drive into a pillar [laughs] This is ah the safest thing Umm But I mean she is like moving, no [horn sounds] Oh no, are you freaking shitting me No, did we crash it? Yeah we did – NOOOOO It’s reprogramming time Alright, I think we’re good. I’m not even gonna cover the mousepad this time because we might have to cheat No we’re not cheating Okay, we’re moving – we’ve gotta go that way – is it up there, yes I think it crashed again Oh Did it? Umm This is like- Let’s do it one more time and that’s just gonna be the portrait. It’s just gonna be a very… impressionist portrait [short horn] Oh we’re having such progress we’re [unintelligible] I think this is good If we just can manage to get one more line in the other direction [many honks] Yes, we have a portrait! Wooo! It’s amazing it is it’s a triangle Can this be merchandise? Anything can be merchandise – Are you sure? It kind of looks like yellow snow on a shirt though Uh-hmm We’ll have to think about it We did it YES – just barely and we only had to- We didn’t cheat at all did we no actually – No I don’t think we cheated at all – had to reposition I apologize for my aweful code Simone. It won’t happen again. I accept your apology You can now buy Cheese Louise’s self-portrait. It’s two hundred thousand billion dollars, or I might just turn it into a t-shirt Okay, bye!


  1. You could potentially make some good pictures using the line tool in MS Paint. You just have to drive to where you want the line to end

  2. Simone! 11 000 likes on this vid so far. If you make self portrait t-shirts and sell them, you'd easily make ten bucks a pop. And that is 110 000 dollars if all the likers buy one. It's a pretty compelling argument. As if that wasn't enough, it would make you the queen of shitty t-shirts as well.

  3. This is how the machine takeover began. After seeing this video, somebody decided to turn a SELF-DRIVING car into a mouse, and the car was able to get online by itself. Skynet is not a millitary computer system, it turns out, but a YouTube channel.

  4. The crashing was probably hanks to the EMI from the horn! They work by making and breaking a contact for power to an electromagnet. You were probably getting some pretty crazy voltage spikes!


    Wait is it mike or John because now my brain is messing with me because it’s 7 am and I haven’t slept

  6. If you make a T-shirt make it black with the white rectangle and yellow lines (the ones drawn by a car) and in white writting on the back of the shirt say. I drove in art.

  7. This was not shitty, this was awesome. Can be useful for Autonomous traversal operation for our student built Mars Rover.

  8. I don't usually bother saying this, except when I say it, but what's to dislike in this video? I realize some people don't like mice, but it's . . .

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