Inside Amy Schumer – Mom Computer Therapy


I can do this. It’s too hard. In order for you to
move forward with your life, you need to confront
this issue. Okay. (breathes out) (sighs) Hi, Mom.
Hi, darling. Hi, welcome.
Hi, how do you do? Please sit down. It’ll be very important
that you’re here for Amy’s progress. Amy? Mom… What’s the issue you’ve been
having with your computer? Oh, I just wanted to e-mail
that cute picture of you and your
sister to your uncle… It’s this way.
…Pat, but the photos just
disappeared. I just think that
machines don’t work around me. They don’t. Okay, well, let’s just turn
on your computer. Isn’t it on already? No, wait, no– I pushed the
little button thingy. Mom, you know how to turn
on your computer. Don’t talk to
me in that tone, honey. I didn’t grow up with
these things. Amy, what are you hearing your
mother say to you? I hear her saying that she
doesn’t know how to turn on her computer when
I know for a fact… Yeah, easy.
… that she does know
how to turn. Easy, easy–
Let’s just take it easy. I knew yesterday,
but I don’t know today. Can you see how that doesn’t
make sense? You forget. All right… How can
you accept her request in a spirit of generosity
and maturity? Okay. Mom? You press the “on” button. (startup sound) There you go, it’s on. All right, now where’s
your photo folder? If I knew that, I wouldn’t
be asking for help. I don’t have all day to
stare at computer screens. I think I’m done. I don’t think I can do
this, actually. Obviously,
that triggered you, but it’s because you
allowed it. And you
will not allow it. Well, here. Here it is. Why do you have all these
photos of the TV? Oh– I wanted to
show you the hangers that I just ordered
from HSN. These are cedar
and they smell like wood. Just. Let’s take a look
at ’em. No, no, no,
I’m good, I’m good. You said
you needed hangers. I said
that five years ago and you’ve bought me several
sets of them. Now here’s the picture
of me and Kim you wanted. Will you
just drag it to your desktop? It’s like a shadow of…
It’s okay? Yeah, just–
(alert tone) Ugh.
Just hold it
down and drag it. Hold the left down? Yeah, and then just. Just anywhere in the desktop.
(alert tone) Desktop meaning
the whole screen? Anywhere on the screen. (alert tone)
Hold the left,
roll the right. (alert tone)
It’s holding, it’s
holding. (alert tone) Desktop. There you go–
Okay, now open your browser. You mean my AOL? Let’s just attach
the photo. To the computer. No, to the e-mail. Well, I didn’t bring
a cord. Mom, there’s no possible
logical reason that you would
need a cord for this. Just let
me do it, all right? (sighing)
Okay, here. I did it, it’s done, you can
send it now. I click “send”? Yes. (mouthing words) (whoosh)
Wow, okay,
I figured it out. Huh! Mrs. Schumer, thank
you so much for coming in. Thank you. I believe you both had a
breakthrough today. Breakthrough.
Be very proud of yourself. These are cute. They go
like that, right? No, they go how
they are– They are already. Swashbuckling.
(buzzer) Sorry. My next
patient’s buzzing in. it’s the new system
we have. (buzzing)
Gosh darn this thing, I just don’t know how
this works. I just press this
and what’s happening?
Well, what. And I press where it says
press, P-R-E-S-S, nothing’s happening.
Yeah, well,
what’s that thing? Try that one.
(buzzing) See that.
See what I mean?
No. Did you just see it go
on and off? I know!
And now it’s beeping at us. See, this is
supposed to say “enter.”
I know. What have we
done to deserve this?
I don’t care. I don’t understand.
(laughing) Amy, could you please come
help, uh, with this?

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